Inside the SwingHub Christmas Ball - flirting, festivities, and grown-up fun...

“There’s no pressure on an evening like this, just lots of possibility that I personally find intoxicating...”

The ballroom looked like an honest-to-goodness winter wonderland. Everything was frosted and draped in twinkling lights. The columns had been made up to look like candy canes, and Christmas trees stood in the corners while garlands framed every doorway, all of them dotted with SwingHub baubles in rich festive colours.

“Grab one now, because they’ll all be gone by the end of the night,” SwingHub CEO Gage whispered in my ear as he pulled me in for a hug. Next to him, his wife Olivia - radiant in a white gown that made her look every inch the snow queen - was hugging my husband, J. Gage and Olivia would, I knew, personally greet and chat with every one of the 350 guests arriving here this evening.

The room looked incredible, and so did the people in it. It was only 7.45pm but the ballroom was already brimming with men in suits and tuxedos and women in gorgeous dresses that plunged, clung, and shimmered in every imaginable style. The air was humming with conversation and laughter, and there was the clink of glasses as friends new and old greeted one another. The sound of a piano being expertly played drifted around the room, as trays of canapés began to circulate.

The SwingHub Christmas Ball had been in our calendar for months; the unquestioned highlight of the lifestyle festive season. We’ve been to SwingHub events before, of course, but this night was different. There was no carefully chosen ‘dress down’ outfit waiting back in our room, no designated play areas, no whispered countdown to a ‘witching hour,’ as my pals John and Kate would say. The Christmas ball isn’t a play event - it’s a celebration. A party. A chance to bring the community together in black tie and sparkly shoes, and give our way of life the festive nod it deserves.

J and I had arrived at Rushton Hall hours earlier that afternoon to make the most of the spa, and both agreed the SwingHub team couldn’t have chosen a more beautiful venue. Wandering the candlelit halls with a glass of wine in hand, breathing in the delicious smell of old books in the library, it felt like stepping back in time. Everywhere we went we spotted familiar faces tucked into nooks and corners - making the most of the opportunity for a quiet drink or chat before the evenings festivities began - and exchanged waves and smiles. There was an air of anticipation that was utterly infectious.

Our room was right by the entrance to the ballroom, which meant we’d managed a sneaky peek inside earlier in the day. It was clear the decorating team had gone to town. In our room we found a box of chocolates and a handwritten Christmas card from our hosts - a small thoughtful gesture that perfectly summed up the care woven into every SwingHub party.

I was just slipping into my dress shortly after 7.30pm when we heard the corridor outside our room starting to fill up. Party time.

If you’ve never been to a lifestyle event, you might be imagining that those first moments could be a little awkward; people arriving and nervously scanning the room, eyeing each other up like some sort of competitive sport, but the reality couldn’t be more different. Lifestylers are truly a friendly bunch. Especially on an app like SwingHub, people recognise a face - or some other body part - they’ve spotted before, and cross the room to say hi. That night, we met friends of ours in the queue who introduced us to someone else... who introduced us to someone else, and so-on-and-so-on, until we all arrived in the ballroom together, a loose gaggle of people chatting, teasing, and flirting like old friends. I’ve seen it happen time and time again, that sense of warmth and community rippling through a crowd. If you pop to the bar at a lifestyle party, you’re going to end up chatting to everyone around you as you wait for your drinks, and walk away with ten new pals. That’s just how it is. I remember the relief I felt the first time I saw it for myself, the realisation there was no judgement, no otherness, just likeminded people looking to make a connection.

For me, there’s always a moment that I can feel a party kick in and this one came early, standing there eyeing up my husband, who was looking sexy as hell in his tux, telling a story that made the woman he was chatting with giggle. He caught my eye and smiled at me, that smile that can still make my stomach flip; a smile that seemed to say 'our life is fun...' And I couldn't agree more. I love a play party, I truly do, but parties like this - that are all about flirting and friendship and connection - are every bit as enjoyable. There’s no pressure on an evening like this, just lots of possibility that I personally find intoxicating.

And what a party it was. As the canapé trays emptied and the pianist wrapped up, people began to move into the main room where live music, courtesy of Helix and the Hounds, was getting seriously underway with a nostalgic mix that bounced from Wheatus, and The Killers, to Arctic Monkeys, and Bruno Mars. Unlike a wedding, where it can take a while for people to loosen up, the dancefloor was never empty. I danced all night in six inch heels, joined a conga line around the ballroom, flirted with gorgeous men and women, and made what felt like fifty new friends. I took a ride in Santa’s sleigh - no, not a euphemism, I told you it wasn’t that kind of party - and later spilled out onto the lawn with J’s jacket around my shoulders to watch the fireworks light up the sky. It was a beautiful night.

And while it wasn’t a play event, that’s not to say nobody got lucky - friends, you know who you are - but it honestly wasn’t the purpose, which when you think about it, for a community of people initially brought together through sex, feels like quite an achievement.

“We’re not just celebrating Christmas tonight, we’re celebrating us,” Gage summed it up for the crowd a little later in the evening, as the SwingHub team came together to thank everyone for another amazing year.

“This community helped us turn a simple idea into something truly magical. During Christmas time the world talks a lot about love, joy, and hope, and I’m so proud to say those aren’t just holiday words for us; we live them every day in our community - in the integrity in how we treat each other, our openness in sharing our true selves with each other, and the support and genuine connection that runs deeper than any stereotype or misunderstanding.”

Hear, hear.

By the time 1am rolled around, we were well and truly partied out. As I headed back to our room to rip off J’s sexy tux - two SwingHub baubles stashed in my bag (thanks Gage!) - I honestly couldn’t remember when we’d been to a better party. The Christmas Ball was the perfect way to round out a year of incredible non-monogamous fun with some of the best people we’ve met along the way. At the end of the day, we all want to find a place where we belong, and people who accept us for who we are. This community does that better than I could have ever imagined.

So to all our lifestyle friends, here’s wishing you a festive season full of love, peace, laughter, and friendship - and, yes, plenty of great sex, obviously! We can’t wait to see you all in 2026.

And to those I haven’t met yet, if you find yourselves at a SwingHub party in the future, do come say hello. If you're on the app, you'll already know what I look like...

See you in the new year,

- The Secret Hotwife